Dedicated to Einstein (the cat)

This summer, on my birthday, Greg and I adopted a dirty, mangy, stray cat that was wandering around in our apartment complex half dead.  I was determined that I was going to nurse him back to health and we'd have this sweet little kitty as a pet.  Greg named him Lucky because he said he would be lucky if he was alive in the morning.  Unfortunately, Lucky turned out to not be so lucky.  He had gangrene (or something else that wasn't very pretty...) and he died while we were sleeping.  We were both really sad, especially Greg because he found the poor thing when he
got out of bed in the morning.  I, being the opportunist that I am, started telling Greg that we should get a puppy!  I was unsuccessful in that so I got online and started looking up pictures of kittens (and a couple puppies... just in case) to attempt to convince him.  And I was successful!  I found a guy giving away the cutest litter of kittens I've ever seen!  So we called him and left to meet with him.  Greg had a hard time deciding which one he wanted, but decided on Lucy.  I had mine picked out from the moment I saw him.  He was an adorable fluffy gray kitten who was content to just curl up on my lap and let me pet him.  So after a few weeks of debating we finally decided on Lucy for Greg's cat (it started out as a play on Lucifer because she was psycho!  But we started letting her outside during the day to work off some energy and now she's a sweet kitty), and Einstein for mine.  We decided on Einstein for 2 reasons.  First, look at him!  He has crazy gray hair sticking out all over the place.  Second, he was a very smart kitten.

        Then a couple months ago, right after Christmas, we decided to build ourselves a king-size loft bed.  It took us about a month of spending all our spare time on it but it was finally up!  The first day it was up the cats were very curious about it.  Lucy is skinny and agile and she figured out how to jump on it almost immediately.  She would get on top of the fridge and jump up and land (somewhat haphazardly) on the edge of the bed.  So naturally, Einstein had to try it too.  Now Einstein has never been a small cat, but the week before Christmas while we were away from the house for a day Einstein somehow got the cat food out from under the sink.  And then he ate it.  All of it.  There was probably a little less than a quarter of the bag left, so 2 or 3 POUNDS of food.  I'm sure Lucy helped a little, but she usually eats like a bird (and she didn't have the huge tummy that Einstein had that night), so it was mostly him.  Ever since that little incident, he has just become a fat, lazy cat (which happen to be my favorite kind!).  Picture Garfield but with long gray fur...  This usually isn't a problem for him because he just lays around on the ground most of the time, but it becomes a problem when he tries to jump 4 feet across and a foot and a half up, when he's already 5 feet off the ground. I can't even do this justice by telling the story and I kick myself for not getting it on video because it was probably the funniest thing I have ever seen!
     So Einstein crouches down on the edge of the top of the fridge and jumps.  Right away we can tell he's not going to make it all the way, he's way to heavy.  Somehow, his front paws make it to the edge of the bed and he grabs the board with his front paws.  Unfortunately, the momentum he had doesn't stop and his bottom half keeps going.  He proceeds to do a complete back flip, his front paws land on the side table next to the couch, he slides off that and lands on his back on the floor.  He laid there for a minute before getting up, probably trying to figure out how he ended up on his back on the floor.  Finally he got up and tried to walk away, looking vaguely like he did when he was on medication after we got him fixed.  For the rest of the night he just laid around on the floor, not even daring to jump up onto his cat tree.  Needless to say he never tried that again.  Classic!
     Then, last night Tjanna and I were sitting on the couch talking when there's a loud bang.  We look over and Einstein sprawled on the back of the couch.  I guess he was sleeping to close to the edge of the bed and got a little to relaxed and he fell.  I'm pretty sure he was asleep until he hit the couch and then all of the sudden he was awake and not on the bed anymore.  I don't think I've ever seen an animal look so confused!
    So, all of that, combined with his occasional running into the wall, misjudging the distance from the floor to whatever he's jumping on, and his always laying on the floor where he is sure to get stepped on his name has been changed from Einstein to Einstein (as in a sarcastic Einstein).